MY SCALE IS MY BF AND MY WORST ENEMY

I just moved into a new house that I'm renting with my cousin and so its way easier to not eat. All I have to do is not buy any groceries to put in the fridge. My cousin doesnt seem to notice because I am usually gone from the house most of the day. it's kind of hard though because I work at a Rocky Mtn. Chocolate Store....CHOCOLATE ok, its hard not to stuff all of the ocntents of the store down my throat during a 3 day fast. Also, there are SO many fat people that come in and buy POUNDS of chocolate. I cant stand it! It makes me just want to yell at them like "LOOK WHAT UR DOING TO URSELF!!" oh well,  if anything its inspiration for me lol
:)

new promise....new day.....starting tomorrow
i WILL go running in the morning. Yes, I will
hopefully
:)

yay today was my first day on the sacred heart diet. i did so well! I had honeydew melon and 100% juice and water all day, and then I came home from work and made the soup that they say to make and it was SOOOOO yummy! I ate 2 bowls of it and I'm actually stuffed! Tomorrow's veggie day, im excited! I can do it!!! :)

im officially addicted
im trying to write like 3 essays and study for finals that are for the next 2 weeks, but i keep coming on this site, actually its been open this whole time.
in between writing essays and being on this site ive also been doing jumping jacks and crunches, and downing my crystal light and coffee
oh and weighing myself every 5 mins still
i MUST lose weight by memorial weekend
one more week
aaaah
im going back home to visit friends for the weekend and i REALLY want to impress everyone
ive been going to the beach almost everyday with the kids i take care of (im a nanny)
so ive got a pretty great tan
which helps in making me look skinnier
i need to be at 130 (a BMI of 20) ASAP
my weight has consumed my life
all the food in my fridge is gonna go bad
but i dont care
at least its less money to spend on groceries right?
after all im just a poor college student livin on my own trying to make it
haha
oh AND i forgot to say the main reason i started my fasting (besides getting sick of purging for the last 3 years)
my bf and i just broke up (well not just, its been like 2 months) but we dated for awhile (almost a year!) and planned to be together forever, but his parents hated me (because im catholic and not jewish, HUGE issue in their family) so they pretty much led to our break up because of all of the fighting and stuff and issues w/ his parents :(
i dont want to be w/ him anymore, im over him, but i do want him to regret not being w/ me if he ever sees me again
i want him to see me and be like, shit i fucked up lol
i know, conceited right?
but it helps me get through my days of fasting (6 days so far) only fucked up 3 times, but not huge deals 100 cals or less each time (except for yesterday 250 bleh, sick), but im still WAY proud of myself :)

yay 10 pounds lost so far
but today i didnt do that well
i had a handful of cashews
8 pieces of  the little stuffed torellini (i think thats like 200 cals!!! sick!)
and a 1/4 of a cheese quesadilla

aaah this fasting is not working out like i wanted to

im so obsessed w/ my scale
i check my weight almost every 5 mins when im home

im so obsessed

but im drinking a lot of water
and green tea w/ mint
so thats good

does mint have calories??????